Small City Big Traffic Changes

Tomorrow's the day many have feared for months.  "It will never work" they said.  Others add "It will slow down the system."  Most worry about their neighbors "They will never figure it out, there isn't enough information."  Despite the months of preparation, the signs and public information and the small changes that have occurred to get us ready for this date, people still are not prepared for the change.  Yet tomorrow, October 1st, 2013 the change comes.  No, I'm not talking about "Obamacare." What we have here is far more serious than that.  Tomorrow, our Small City with a Big Heart becomes a Small City with 2 Way Streets. 

This post started as a pep talk to my fellow Amsterdamians.  Around here we tend to think we can't until we do and then we still aren't sure if we can. But driving around town the other day I realized we manage to get around town safely against all odds.  If a person can zoom across Church Street from Widow Susan to Clizbe Ave  at rush hour and not share the same fate as Susan's husband, then surely a change to a two way traffic system in the center of town shouldn't be a problem.  If one of the safest intersections in the city contains 5 corners, 6 entrances and 4 stop signs and 2 gas stations then I know we Amsterdamians can follow the signs, traffic signals and road paint in the area formerly known as "downtown."  

In fact, here in Amsterdam we have a traffic patterns only locals can understand.   And the problem with that is we want more than locals on our roads.  There are driving laws and then there are what I'd like to call Amsterdam's "Driving Mores" that are passed down from our grandparents to our parents to us.  Or from our High School Gym/Drivers Ed Teacher if you are transplant.  The best example I can think of has to with the fact that here in Amsterdam, you can walk up hill to school both ways.

Traffic More #1 - When it comes to hills, all bets are off. 

Take Locust Ave and Lyon St.  This harmless 4 way intersection has a traffic light during nice weather, but once winter comes and cars need a running start up Lyon Street hill, the light turns to a 3 way red and 1 way yellow blinking light.  There is no sign that depicts this, no mass facebook message or public alert.  But everyone who lives around there just "knows." Just like they "know" Kreisel Terrace hill is closed in winter and that the seemingly pointless stop signs on Major Lane (between Northampton and Brandt on your way to the Middle School) will in fact keep you from getting T-Boned by the cars that need a running start in the best of weather to get up those hills.

Traffic More #2 - No matter how long you've lived here, you will get lost in your own town.

When I moved to Rockton, it was like a whole new world.  I searched for the Rockton Y for a while until I found out it was not a building but an intersection.  I am still not sure how to tell an out of town friend how to get through it and still stay on Clizbe, I usually just ask them to describe their surroundings when they call completely lost.  Then there is the fact that you cannot enter and leave the South Side in the same spot and still get back from where you came. At best, you'll  have to turn around at the Amsterdam Recorder, at worse, you'll end up on the Thruway.

Traffic More #3 - Things just don't make logical sense.

The Golf Course is not on Golf Course Road and you can't get to The Mall by taking The Mall.  But you can drive through the Tecler Elementary School Parking lot to get to Hagaman and St. John Street does cut through a Church Parking Lot, but that church is not called St. John's but Mt Carmel, and if its Sunday, watch out for old people.  

So yes, we understand traffic a little differently here in Amsterdam. Many of our rules are not set in stone, just passed down through stories or trial and error.  But we can survive and even thrive during this traffic change.  We know more about state traffic laws than we give ourselves credit for.  After all, how many out-of-towners would confidently turn left on red from a one way to a one way right in front of a police station? On October 1st and beyond I challenge you to leave a little earlier, be a little more patient and drive a bit more defensively.  Show those two way streets whose boss and make these changes.  And if all else fails, listen to the advice of your Gym/Driver's Ed Teachers Mr. Mee and Ms. Nev: always leave yourself an out and stay out of the no zone.  

Unwanted Input

Unwanted Input. We've all received it at some time or another.  The old woman at the wedding who pats your hand and says, "Don't worry dear, someday your prince will come."  Someone younger person telling you they would never make they same type of mistake you did.  Sure kid, just you wait.  The naturally thin person commenting on what you are eating after you totally saw her pound a piece of chocolate cake.  Anything your mother says about your clothes, hair, weight, life choices in general.  That stranger in the grocery store that comes up and touches your baby or gives you advice on your screaming toddler.  Unwanted input. Be vigilant. It can really sneak up on a girl.

There are two types of unwanted input that are particularly sneaky.  This input adds insult to injury and kicks a girl when she's down.  I'm talking about cough drops and maxi pads people, and they need to learn to keep their mouths shut.

First, maxi pads.  If you've bought the "Always" brand of maxi pads lately, you've opened it up, gone to pull the little piece of paper off the "wings" and seen this message:

If you've had a period, you'll know there isn't much happy about.  Sure, we should celebrate the miracle that our bodies can produces new life and is working "properly".  We might be celebrating the miracle that our body is not currently producing a baby.  But once that initial feeling of relief subsides, annoyance at the inconvenience of being a slave to your cycle sets in.  For the next few days, your choices in food, clothing, and activities all revolve about around this little period.  We ladies are strong, we can handle it, adjust to it, but we certainly don't have to be happy about it.

Halls Cough drops are my next offender on this list.  Their "pep talk in every drop" philosophy just doesn't work for me.

 

"Bet on yourself."  "March Forward."  "Put a little strut in it."  A strut?  With this red nose and rockin' sweatpants.  I don't think so.  I think the advice they should be giving is "Don't worry, no one is grossed out by your hacking."  "You look sexy in sweat pants." or "Your not the reason your co-worker started bringing Lysol to work."  Maybe even "That soccer mom who just lathered her kid with Purell conveniently strapped to her purse with a bright yellow silicone cover is just neurotic.  It's not you, it's her."  That, my friends, would be helpful.  

Unwanted input.  It comes from anywhere.  Perhaps it is coming from this blog right now (but then, why would you be reading it?).  Feel free to leave your unwanted (I mean wanted, very much wanted) input below!

DISCLAIMER:  I was too lazy to take my own pictures.  As I searched for images for this blog I found that this idea is not an original one (gasp, say it ain't so).  The Halls Picture comes from Mike Bindrup who seems to be a marketing guru who likes the pep talk concept.  The Always picture came from DeBie Hive who has a great post about.  Also, goggle "Have a Happy Period" and click on images.  You will laugh.  You will laugh hard.  You might pee your pants.