Completely Unprepared

While I hated Girl Scouts for most of the 8 long years I was in it, I did learn a couple things.  One, you can easily start a fire by sticking a maxi pad onto a log and setting that on fire and two, always be prepared.  While I've had very little opportunity to start fires with feminine products, I have continued to buy larger and larger purses to be prepared for just about anything. Band-aids, tissues, reading material, bottles of liquor, a yoga mat...you know, the essentials!  Chances are if you need something, you can find that in my purse. But once in awhile something catches me by surprise and renders me speechless.  The graduation card section in Target is the location of the last scene of unpreparedness.

I was looking for a college graduation card for our cousin.  I hate picking out cards because they are usually too cheesy, too wordy or way too spiritual.  If something is going to be too cheesy and too wordy, its gonna be this girl so I usually get a blank one in order to have the most space possible for the cheese and words. I do not appreciate competition when it comes to cheesiness. 

When I came across this card, I thought it would be perfect:

Expecting a simple "congratulations" on the inside I opened it up and found this....

Seriously?  I was completely knocked of guard because the card wasn't labeled funny, adult, or a "shoe box" card.  It was just sitting there innocently among all the other cards.  Since I have no control over the looks on my face, it must have been classic.  When you think about they type of people who buy a graduation card, it's usually a family member for a younger person.  Can you imagine getting this from your grandma?  Maybe your creepy Uncle but what are the chances of that guy showing up with anything other than his girlfriend who graduated the year before you. 



So Target, quit it with the sleeping with teachers references.  From now on, I'll have to make my own super wordy super cheesy but completely appropriate cards.