"I believed there was an end goal, a place at which I would arrive and forevermore be at peace. And since I also believed that the way to get there was by judging and shaming and hating myself, I also believed in diets."
Quoted from "God, Women, and Food" by Geneen Roth (someone needs to teach me how to find page numbers on a Kindle
No lie, I tried to diet while reading this book. I am getting married this year and of course all future brides must go on a diet. It is even on the checklist of "The Knot" website. Besides, we will all be happy when we are thin and have husbands. Then we will have kids and give our lives to them and get fat. Isn't that the way it works (sarcasm)? Roth highlights in the quote above. I always thought that I would be thin when…I went to college, when I finished college, when I was living on my own and had power over my food, when I had a job that made me happy, when I was my late twenties…yada yada yada.
Roth points out that we are always reaching for a place in the future rather than dealing with the now. Instead adjusting to life in the now we blame it. When we gain weight because we have a desk job it is because we are ignoring our bodies need for exercise and blaming work. When we eat too much during the holidays we are ignoring our bodies when they are full and blaming tradition and family.
I went on this crazy diet while I was working on a campaign this fall. Because I was so distracted with the intense work of the campaign, I didn't notice how much this diet sucked. When I started it up after the holidays I just couldn't do it. It was so restrictive I was feeling light headed in Zumba class and having to stop and rest during spinning class. I was miserable and just couldn't do it.
My body loves and needs the exercise I get at the gym. My body loves water and hates soda. My body hates adding water to dried packets of soup, shakes, pudding, and scrambled eggs (seriously, yuck) and living off of a whooping 900 calories a day. My body loves a piece of chocolate once in awhile. It loves macaroni and cheese, grilled vegetables and chicken, crisp strips of yellow, red, and orange peppers. It loves ice cream and hummus (separately). Sometimes it loves Kashi, sometimes it loves Cheerios. Roth tells us our bodies and our minds can be happy now, not after that next diet.
So I went to David’s Bridal and I tried on wedding dresses in my current size. I looked awesome. I asked my fiancé if he would still marry me if I was this size on our wedding day. He is still my fiancé so you know his answer. If I walk down the aisle in October in this weight, it will be fine. If I continue to accept myself and listen to my body, I have a suspicion that my dress size might be a bit smaller. Either way, I’ll still be happy.