Monday, January 28, 2013

Time On My Hands

"When God made time, he made enough of it." - Celtic Saying 

I found this saying on the end of tea bag yesterday and it really hit home.  After being diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and going through a pretty major abdominal surgery, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands.  I wasn't supposed to go back to work for 6 weeks (ended up only staying home for 3) and I struggled to find a good use of my time.  I could look around my house and see everything that I needed or wanted to do, but couldn't physically do it.  I tried to read but couldn't focus.  I tried to write but struggled with what to say.  Also, you'd be surprised what happens to your spelling skills while on pain meds.  There are pages in my notebook I still can't figure out.  

It was a strange time for me. I was in between diagnosis, I knew that the surgery discovered no new cancer which was a huge relief, but I still didn't know what the next step would be.  Whether or not I would have chemo and how long I would have it were unknown. What "stage" I officially fell into. I didn't have all the information so I limited what I shared with people. I don't just write for myself, I write to share, and when I don't think I'll be able to share that writing, I don't really want to do it.

That time of unknown was honestly the most frightening.  What needed to be a time of calm and healing was riddled with uncertainty and anxiety.  I felt a huge push to create, to make something, to leave something behind. I turned to the huge pile of yarn in my the corner of my living room and realized there were a lot of things I could do.

It was fall and I came across this pattern for pumpkin hats for kids.  It felt like all of my friends were having children and I just wanted to be sure they had a part of me. There were times when I thought that if nothing else, my friends could say "Mommy's friend Kelly made this for you..." years later when the kids were grown and I was just a memory. The quote would naturally be followed by some funny story I told or how nice of a butt I had.  I've said before, we don't do morbid here, but we do honest and this was honestly how I was feeling.  I felt calm and solace in the stringing together of yarn into loops, then rounds, then hats.  We all have limited time here, the Celtic saying at the top reminds us that regardless of how much it is, it is enough.  It is up to us how we use it.

Can you handle the cuteness?
I have more knowledge now, I've gone through the chemo, read the results, learned the statistics.  I meant it when I said I was joining The Survivors Club.  Come hell or high water I will someday join the Mommy's Club.  Until then, this basic beanie has carried me through a lot of doctor's waiting rooms, surgery preps, and hours of crappy reality TV.  It can be adapted for all sorts of seasons.  Check out my other blog Pumpkinhead Knits to get the full picture.



http://hiedihaysphotography.zenfolio.com/

Basic Baby Beanie – 
Created using information from Slugs on the Refrigerator 
Skill level : Beginner

Materials:
Size 4 DK weight (I used Impeccable from Michaels)
Hook; US H8/5.00mm
Tapestry Needle

Abbreviations: Standard American Crochet Terms
Ch(s) – Chain/chains
Sl st – slip stitch                 
Hdc – half double crochet
St – stitch

Gauge Working in Rows:
2.5 rows & 3hdc = 1”x1” with H hook


Premie -Circumference 10.5”,Height 4.5-5”
Start with a magic ring
Row 1:  Ch 2, work 8 hdc in ring; join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (8 sts)
Row 2:  2 hdc in each st;  join with sl st in first HDC, chain 2. (16 sts)
Row 3: *1 hdc in first st, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (24 sts)
Row 4: *1 hdc in first 2 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (32 sts)
Continue pattern evenly until piece measures 4.5-5”
Fasten off, weave in all ends.

0-3 Months -Circumference 12”,Height 5.5-6”
Start with a magic ring
Row 1:  Ch 2, work 9 hdc in ring; join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (9 sts)
Row 2: 2 hdc in each st;  join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (18 sts)
Row 3: *1 hdc in first st, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (27 sts)
Row 4: *1 hdc in first 2 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (36 sts)
Continue pattern evenly until piece measures 5.5-6”
Fasten off, weave in all ends.
**for 13” hat, increase to 39 stitches in circumference.

3-6 Months -Circumference 15”,Height 6.5-7”
Start with a magic ring
Row 1:  Ch 2, work 9hdc in ring; join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (9 sts)
Row 2: 2 hdc in each st;  join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (18 sts)
Row 3: *1 hdc in first st, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (27 sts)
Row 4: *1 hdc in first 2 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (36 sts)
Row 5: *1 hdc in first 3 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (45 sts)

Continue pattern evenly until piece measures 6.5-7”
Fasten off, weave in all ends.
**for 14” hat, decrease to 42 stitches in circumference.

6-12 Months -Circumference 16.5”,Height 7.5-8”
Start with a magic ring
Row 1:  Ch 2, work 10 hdc in ring; join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (10 sts)
Row 2: 2 hdc in each st;  join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (20 sts)
Row 3: *1 hdc in first st, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (30 sts)
Row 4: * 1 hdc in first 2 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (40 sts)
Row 5: * 1 hdc in first 3 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (50 sts)

Continue pattern evenly until piece measures 7.5-8”
Fasten off, weave in all ends.
**for 16” hat, decrease to 48 stitches in circumference.
**for 17” hat, increase to 51 stitches in circumference.

1- 3 Year -Circumference 18.5”,Height 8-8.5”
Start with a magic ring
Row 1:  Ch 2, work 8 hdc in ring; join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (8 sts)
Row 2: 2 hdc in each st;  join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (16 sts)
Row 3: *1 hdc in first st, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (24 sts)
Row 4: *1 hdc in first 2 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (32 sts)
Row 5: *1 hdc in first 3 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (40 sts)
Row 6: *1 hdc in first 4 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (48 sts)
Row 7: *1 hdc in first 5 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (56 sts)

Continue pattern evenly until piece measures 8-8.5”
Fasten off, weave in all ends.
**for 18” hat, decrease to 54 stitches in circumference.
**for 19” hat, increase to 57 stitches in circumference.


3-10 Year -Circumference 20”,Height 8.5-9”
Start with a magic ring
Row 1:  Ch 2, work 9 hdc in ring; join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (9 sts)
Row 2: 2 hdc in each st;  join with sl st in first hdc, chain 2. (18 sts)
Row 3: *1 hdc in first st, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (27 sts)
Row 4: *1 hdc in first 2 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (36 sts)
Row 5: *1 hdc in first 3 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (45 sts)
Row 6: *1 hdc in first 4 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (54 sts)
Row 7: * 1 hdc in first 5 sts, 2 hdc in next; repeat from * around for 6 times hdc for the next 21 sts; join with sl st in first hdc, chain2. (60 sts)

Continue pattern evenly until piece measures 8.5-9”
Fasten off, weave in all ends.

**for 19” hat, decrease to 57 stitches in circumference.




6 comments:

  1. "There were times when I thought that if nothing else, my friends could say "Mommy's friend Kelly made this for you..." years later when the kids were grown and I was just a memory. The quote would naturally be followed by some funny story I told or how nice of a butt I had. I've said before, we don't do morbid here, but we do honest and this was honestly how I was feeling."

    Your honesty is raw, and beautiful, and necessary. I love you! And PS You are in the Survivor's Club, so while we all tell the important children in our lives about your optimism, patience and joy -- be ready for them to expect more of the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jolleen! I don't know what I'd so without you!

      Delete
  2. Kelly, the little pumpkin hat you made for Jolleen to give my daughter Hannah was a bright point of the Fall. I love things that are handmade (and look great!) and Hannah was ridiculously cute in it.

    Thank you for your uplifting messages - I am so happy you feel comfortable sharing. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gina! I am so glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, it means a lot!

      Delete
  3. how cute is this!!! I don't knit. Well, kind of. But, not well enough to follow along. Someday!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Janel! Maybe someday you will! For now the stuff you make is pretty great!

    ReplyDelete